On the road cookery



We ripped through Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas. In Amarillo we actually witnessed a shit storm. This didn’t involve giant turds hitting our car, it meant billions of microscopic cow poo particles filled the air near the feedlot and swirled into our car, eclipsed the sun, and smelled really bad. Swearing off beef, we came to the town of Tucumcari, NM. We stayed at the Golden Palomino, one of those great route 66 neon hotels. Just around the corner was the town’s feed store. I went in and immediately fell in love with a pair of cowgirl boots. They’re the real deal, the lady explained the strip of leather across the top of the foot is for “greater stirrup control”. For the urban cowgirl, that means greater bicycle pedal control (that is until I really lose my mind and get a horse). Sold. She was so excited I bought them, she gave me…some meat. Raised in Tucumcari but processed in Amarillo. The home of the shit storm. What to do? I’m not one to reject free food, so I put on my new boots and accepted the free beef.
The other problem wasn’t moral, but practical. Our camp stove was out of fuel. Having only vaguely heard of Manifold Destiny: A Cookbook, we wrapped the meat in aluminum foil, and tried to figure out where to put the meat. Then we drove with dreams of a grilled steak for dinner. But then we forgot about the meat. Only after driving for two more days did we remember. We’ll never know how the shit storm meat tasted, I threw it out into the woods for the cougars.

4 responses to “On the road cookery

  1. Should that be Tucumcari?

    Sounds like a great trip.

  2. Riana Lagarde

    LOL at the manifold meat. hehehehe. Manifold jerky? funny stuff. I wanna see photos of the boots!

  3. Novella Carpenter

    thanks kevin, i guess i remembered it incorrectly. but isn’t that the most difficult name to pronounce?

  4. It is the most difficult name. I guess the only way that I remember it is from the song, “Willin’,” written by Lowell T. George of Little Feat and covered by just about everyone, including a great version by Steve Earle.

    The chorus goes like this …

    “I’ve been from Tucson to Tucumcari
    Tehachapi to Tonapah
    Driven every kind of rig that’s ever been made
    I’ve driven the back roads so I wouldn’t get weighed
    If you give me: weed, whites, and wine
    And you show me a sign
    I’ll be willin’ to be movin'”

    And, I love the manifold meat by the way! It needs to be added to those lyrics!

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