The Giving Tree

I planted a Bearass, I mean Bearss (he he), lime when I first started squatting on 28th street. The lime went from a little stick to this towering green monster of fruit.

Some of my neighbors pick the branches and leaves to make a cold remedy, some kids like to use them to throw at each other, others like to hide behind the tree and piss. I like to pick the limes–and WASH them very well–and make lime sherbet (recipe at the end). The fruit is big and juicy, and ripe when it turns yellow (but it’s actually fine when green too).

Like everything on my farmlette, the tree is not pristine, it needs to be pruned way back, and a swarm of Argentinian ants have made it their favorite place to farm an insect called scale, so the branches are coated with hard-bodied parasites which suck from the lifeblood of the tree. Somehow, the tree keeps alive, and thriving. I must have harvested 50 pounds of fruit so far and it’s still flush with fruit.

Thanks to the power and stamina of this tree, it’s become a tradition for me to send the fruit to friends and family for the holidaze. This year some of the limes will be more special than others, because I ran across a new magazine called Lucky Peach. It’s a brainy food magazine with hipster appeal. The writing is hilarious and they often have fun things like this quarter’s Fruit Stickers.


The sticker on the lime reads, “The Fruit That Likes the Knife”.

The pomegranate, picked by moi, is headed to my mom. The sticker, if you can’t read it says, “Hand-picked by Poor People.” Other favorites include, “Actually Pretty Tasty” and “This Plum Is Not Gluten Free” (that one’ll have to wait til next summer.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is, thanks Lime Tree! Thanks Lucky Peach. Happy Holidaze to you all.

Lime Sherbet
It’s not sorbet, cuz it has milk. This is good to bring to follow a Hannakah brisket, Xmas Goose, or Solstice Nutria
(obviously, triple this)
1 1/2 cup lime juice
1/2 water
1 cup sugar
Rind finely sawed up from 1 lime
1 cup milk
1 TB vodka
Blend the lime juice, water and sugar together. Throw in the lime rind and vodka. Chill to 38 degrees. Mix chilled lime solution with milk and pour into your ice cream maker. You don’t have an ice cream maker? You’re screwed. No, no, you might be able to put it in the freezer and stir every few minutes and it might be ok. But I’ve never tried that. This is not a food blog.

9 responses to “The Giving Tree

  1. Some months back Saveur had an article on making ice cream at home without electricity and the method that had the best marks was to put your ice cream in a zip lock bag and squeeze the air out and seal it, and then put that bag inside a larger zip lock bag full of ice and salt and knead it. Presumably you’d want to do this wearing gloves.

    And I think it’s a Kwanza nutria, and a Solstice raccoon (which I’ve read in a couple places is very good braised…I’m not so sure about the Nutria. They (nutrias) do make good coat liners, though. But this isn’t a fashion blog).

    I’m glad to know that despite you, the Bearss lime is prolific. That was the variety I planted in a pot on the deck up here in the PNW, and it’s holding its own under two layers of Agribon. We’ve been getting a slough of freezes lately.

  2. Kristin Stromberg

    “This is not a food blog” – hilarious. If it’s any consolation, ants and scale have occupied my meyer lemon tree as well. So far the bearass lime is safe… probably because everyone is busy with the lemon. For now.

  3. Jennifer M. Hall

    I also loved those stickers!
    Thanks for the reminder to use them.
    Hope you’re feeling well.

  4. Lets cut it back an distill some leaves. Lime leaf hydrosol. I’m coming to SF in Jan -soon. Skyebird@capecod.net http://www.perfumepharmer.com

  5. Good to hear what you’re up, and how creative those in your neighborhood are when it comes to interacting with a lime tree.

  6. feel free to mail me some limes! we ended using limes from your tree to add to our rice and greens for some great meals on our way up the coast! our citrus trees we have indoors are in bloom (detroit is much too cold to keep trees outdoors) – and i just got the catalog for one green world http://onegreenworld.com/ which has me thinking of ordering more trees for indoors. i was thinking of maybe a finger lime that all those boushie chefs are into. but then by the time fruit started to bear they would be on to the next thing.

  7. I planted one of those trees last year…it is still tiny now, but I’m looking forward to it being a bruiser someday.

  8. Hope all is well… was over at your sister’s flickr page and she said you welcomed a little one into the world. Congratulations!

  9. I love my lime tree even though it’s only 3 years old and gives us but a handful of fruit.

    I found a way to get rid of scale! Mix some insecticidal soap with rubbing alcohol and then spray them. The alcohol helps the soap get through their touch shell.

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